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Parenting
A Message From State Superintendent Dr. Christopher KochDear Illinois Parents:
Welcome to a new school year!
As we begin the school year, I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your support of our local schools. Teachers, administrators and other school personnel are working hard under increasing pressure to provide a quality education for your children. Your support of their efforts is critical.
I want to take this opportunity to share some ways that you may be able to help your child to learn. Children learn in different ways and through all of their senses. Every child has a tremendous capacity for learning and teachers work hard to engage students in their own learning.
The brain learns when connections are made between what is experienced and what that experience means to the child. This is why it is important to connect to what children already know when introducing new lessons. Learning is enhanced when the child uses what he or she has learned– such as completing a division problem for the first time or practicing the piano.
We help children develop and learn properly by:
• spending time with them
• connecting your child’s learning to everyday life
• talking to your child about school and what they saw on television
• encouraging your child to ask questions about things they are interested in
• finding out what careers your child may want to explore
• using the internet at home, school or a local library to help them answer questions
• ensuring your child has a healthy breakfast and adequate sleep
Finally, talk to your child if you notice them struggling or feeling negative about school. Trouble at home, bullying, or even problems with a girl or boyfriend can affect their performance at school. Talking to your child’s teacher or principal can provide the insights and information that can help them to better understand and address your child’s needs.
Thanks again for your support of education in Illinois and I wish you and your child the very best this school year.
Sincerely,
Christopher A. Koch, Ed.D.
State Superintendent of Education
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Starting Middle SchoolStarting middle school is a big transition for both students and parents. Parent involvement in the middle grades is very important--perhaps even more that it was in elementary school! Middle school is when patterns become established in areas such as school attendance, behavior, effort, and grades. What parents say and do about school makes a big difference in student achievement!
Five ways parents can help set students up for success:
1. Monitor Student Progress
Check your student's planner every day to know what the homework is and when tests will be. Ask to see tests and quizzes; look at your student's completed work before it is turned in. Unsure of the homework, check the website or email the teacher with your concerns. Don't wait until it's too late to contact your child's teacher.
2. Find Out About School and Grade-Level Expectations
Written standards specify the learning expectations for all core subjects at every grade level. At open house teachers explain the course content and how it relates to the standards.
3. Get To Know Your Child's School
Know whom your child's teachers are and how to get the information you need. The school website and the school office has information on after school activities, academic assistance, Turnabout, and detentions. It also helps to participate in school events when possible and serve on decision-making committees.
4. Set High Expectations for Your Student
Research has shown this is one of the most important factors in student achievement. Letting your child know you expect him or her to take school seriously and work hard has a direct impact on results.
5. Have Routines At Home That Support School
The foundation of good study habits is setting aside a daily homework time that is enforced whether or not your child says there is an assignment due. During this time no distractions are allowed--no TV and no phone! Reading yourself or doing paperwork at that time helps reinforce the study atmosphere. If your student says there is no homework, insist on using the time to review notes, textbooks, or do other reading. Always check the daily planner and ask to see completed work.
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Getting Involved in Education with Your Child When parents and families get personally involved in education, their children do better in school and grow up to be more successful in life. Sounds like common sense, doesn't it? Yet parental involvement is one of the most overlooked aspects of American education today. The fact is, many parents don't realize how important it is to get involved in their children's learning. Other parents would like to be involved, but have trouble finding the time.
All parents and family members should try to find the time and make the effort because research shows that when families get involved, their children:
-Get better grades and test scores.
-Graduate from high school at higher rates.
-Are more likely to go on to higher education.
-Are better behaved and have more positive attitudes.
Family involvement is also one of the best investments a family can make. Students who graduate from high school earn, on average, $200,000 more in their lifetimes than students who drop out. College graduate makes almost $1 million more!
What is "Family Involvement in Education"?
It's a lot of different types of activities- the keyword here being 'ACT'. Whatever actions you undertake will have benefits for your child. We can offer these suggestions:
Keep in touch with the school. Families who stay informed about their children's progress at school have higher-achieving children.
At the beginning of the year find out if your child's teachers distribute course outlines or course descriptors or syllabus. These types of communication often contain helpful information about individual teachers' expectations for homework, class assignments, and project work.
If your child has always been a "wait until the last minute and then work like crazy to meet that deadline" student with respect to the completion of homework and project work, BEWARE! Bright students can 'get by' on this work pattern through elementary school- but in middle school the work load is simply too large. Your child's grades will be lower- perhaps much lower than what they are accustomed to receiving. Moreover they will feel stressed and discouraged.
Another variation on this 'let's wait' pattern, is the student who believes that they can 'take it easy' for the first five weeks of the marking period, and then start earnestly completing assignments after Progress Reports. Again, this strategy- while perhaps passable in elementary school- usually results in academic failure in middle school.
You can help coach your child to change these ill-fated homework strategies. How?
Establish a daily family routine with scheduled homework time.
Set a regular time for homework each afternoon or evening, set aside a quiet, well lit place, and encourage and expect children to study.
A popular 'quality assurance' measure used in the business world states; "You get what you inspect, not what you expect." Ask to see your child's completed assignments, as well as 'works in progress'.
For larger project work and reports students often need guidance in how to organize materials or outline writing and research tasks. Breaking a project down into a series of smaller 'chunks' allows students to complete tasks on an established time-line. Your child's teachers, as well as the school media specialist, can provide additional resources on the 'how to' aspect of managing project and research paper completion.
If you are at all uncertain about your child's academic standing, Do NOT wait for the Progress Report or Report Card grade to confirm your suspicions! Instead ACT today and contact your child's teachers and request this information.
Use TV wisely! Academic achievement drops sharply for children who watch more than 10 hours of television a week, or an average of more than two hours a day.
Express high expectations for children by enrolling them in challenging courses. You can communicate to your children the importance of setting and meeting challenges in school. Tell your children that working hard and stretching their minds in the only way for them to realize their full potential. Make sure they never settle for doing less than their best.
Effective parental involvement can be as simple as asking your children, "How was school today?" But ask every day. That will send your children the clear message that their schoolwork is important to you and you expect them to learn.
Some parents and families may have the time to get involved in many ways. Others may only have the time for one or two activities. But whatever your level of involvement, remember: If you get involved and stay involved, you can make a world of difference.
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Getting Your Child to Open Up
Please review these tips for getting your children to open up when you know they need to talk to you.
Choose an informal setting. Driving in the car, hanging out in their room. If the setting is too formal they tend not to open up.
Don’t be a conversation killer. Listen to their feelings. Acknowledge their feelings don’t try to change what their feelings are. It’s not about you but them.
Put yourself in their shoes. It’s important to empathize with them and be them at that moment. Be them in your heart. “It sounds like you feel…” Let them continue talking.
Initiate conversation. Bring it up. They need to know you care. Let them know it’s okay to talk about what it is that is bothering them.
Try to welcome their tears and emotions. We have all made mistakes as parents and feel bad about what they are going through. Don’t feel guilty about what they may be feeling. Try and understand what they are feeling. It’s a great gift to give your child to truly understand what they are going trough.
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How To Be Popular (For the Right Reasons)Friendship vs. Popularity
It's more important to be a good friend - and to have good friends - than to be in the top tier of the social hierarchy a school. Having friends is not always the same as being "popular." Friends show genuine interest in others and in what they have to say. Friends try to imagine how they themselves would feel or react in the same situation. In other words, they express plenty of empathy, which makes people feel more "connected" to them. At the same time friends are good listeners who encourage others to talk about themselves. They make the person who is speaking feel important - and do so sincerely. Friends are genuine and consistent in beliefs and their behavior. They are the same people in public and private.
Arrogance vs. Confidence
Not everyone is blessed with good looks, brains, athletic prowess or wealth. If you possess one or more of these attributes, don't act as if you are better than anyone else. Behaving like that is the quickest way not to make friends. In other words, don't act like a snob. Self-confidence is the polar opposite of arrogance and perhaps the most important attribute that well liked people possess. Kids who may believe that they are not the most attractive or athletic who project a self-image that have the ability to laugh at themselves. Are always accepted, respected, and well-liked. Why? Because their healthy self-esteem and sense of humor make them the kind of people that others naturally want to spend time with. Self-confidence can not be faked, but it can be fostered. All students should be encouraged to participate in extracurricular clubs, and activities that he/she feels enthusiastic about. By getting involved students will feel a sense of connectedness to a group where he/she can shine and in the may be a much happier person on the inside and the outside. Happiness also happens to be one of the qualities that people admire most in others. People are drawn to cheerful extroverts, especially those who have the ability to make others feel excited about their own interests.
Worrying vs. Doing Something About It
The surest way to ruin chances of making friends is to spend too much time - or any time - worrying about his/her social status. If kids spend too much time worrying about their popularity status they will miss all of the fun along the way - enjoying real friends who value and support them. No one really likes to hang with a worrywart or a social climber. Encourage each other to pursue interests and activities you love, listen attentively and with empathy, be creative and speak up for what is right. Don't let the fear of being unpopular hold each other back in any way - such as letting peers speak on behalf of one another or make decisions for one another. Encourage each other to express your own opinions and ideas, then get others excited about what they may think.
In closing, planets orbit around the sun. People orbit around sunny people. That's why if you want to be popular, it's important to radiate warmth and self-confidence in every situation. Because who doesn't love being around a truly happy, cheerful person? No one!
Meg Cabot is a best selling author of "How To Be Popular"
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20 Ways for Parents to Encourage Reading The following are some ways to turn a young reader's reluctance into enthusiasm:
1. Scout for things your children might like to read. Use their interests and hobbies as starting points.
2. Leave all sorts of reading materials including books, magazines, and colorful catalogs in conspicuous places around your home.
3. Notice what attracts your children's attention, even if they only look at the pictures. Then build on that interest; read a short selection aloud, or simply bring home more information on the same subject.
4. Let your children see you reading for pleasure in your spare time.
5. Take your children to the library regularly. Explore the children's section together. Ask a librarian to suggest books and magazines your children might enjoy.
6. Present reading as an activity with a purpose; a way to gather useful information for, say, making paper airplanes, identifying a doll or stamp in your child's collection, or planning a family trip.
7. Encourage older children to read to their younger brothers and sisters. Older children enjoy showing off their skills to an admiring audience.
8. Play games that are reading-related. Check your closet for spelling games played with letter tiles or dice, or board games that require players to read spaces, cards, and directions.
9. Perhaps over dinner, while you're running errands, or in another informal setting, share your reactions to things you read, and encourage your children to do likewise.
10. Set aside a regular time for reading in your family, independent of schoolwork, the 20 minutes before lights out, just after dinner, or whatever fits into your household schedule. As little as 10 minutes of free reading a day can help improve your child's skills and habits.
11. Read aloud to your child, especially a child who is discouraged by his or her own poor reading skills. The pleasure of listening to you read, rather than struggling alone, may restore your child's initial enthusiasm for books and reading.
12. Encourage your child to read aloud to you an exciting passage in a book, an interesting tidbit in the newspaper, or a joke in a joke book. When children read aloud, don't feel they have to get every word right. Even good readers skip or mispronounce words now and then.
13. On gift-giving occasions, give books and magazines based on your child's current interests.
14. Set aside a special place for children to keep their own books.
15. Introduce the bookmark. Remind your youngster that you don't have to finish a book in one sitting; you can stop after a few pages, or a chapter, and pick up where you left off at another time. Don't try to persuade your child to finish a book he or she doesn't like. Recommend putting the book aside and trying another.
16. Treat your children to an evening of laughter and entertainment featuring books! Many children (parents, too) regard reading as a serious activity. A joke book, a story told in riddles, or a funny passage read aloud can reveal another side of reading.
17. Extend your child's positive reading experiences. For example, if your youngster enjoyed a book about dinosaurs, follow up with a visit to a natural history museum.
18. Offer other special incentives to encourage your child's reading. Allow your youngster to stay up an extra 15 minutes to finish a chapter; promise to take your child to see a movie after he or she has finished the book on which it was based; relieve your child of a regular chore to free up time for reading.
19. Limit your children's TV viewing in an effort to make time for other activities, such as reading. But never use TV as a reward for reading, or a punishment for not reading.
20. Not all reading takes place between the covers of a book. What about menus, road signs, food labels, and sheet music? Take advantage of countless spur-of-the-moment opportunities for reading during the course of your family's busy day.
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Teaching Students to Take Ownership Being Responsible
We all want our children to grow up to be responsible adults. We want them to feel, think, and act with respect for themselves and for others. To do this, children need lots of help from the adults they interact with on a regular basis. Learning to be responsible includes learning to:
show respect and compassion for others,
practice honesty,
show courage by standing up for what we believe,
develop self-control out of consideration for others,
maintain self-respect.
Here are some things you can do at home:
Watch for the chance to teach your children responsible behavior through everyday situations. Share your moral and religious values with them.
Show compassion and concern when others are suffering.
Read stories together that teach lessons: the courage of David standing up to Goliath, or the value of persistence from "The Little Engine That Could."
Talk about complicated decisions. Help children understand how the choices they make will affect them and others.
Visit with teachers to discuss ways parents and the school can reinforce the same lessons about good character.
Talk with other parents and agree on acceptable behavior for children's play and parties. Take turns supervising to show that all the parents agree on the standards of behavior.
Responsibility Builders
Honesty, the Best Policy
1. Tell the story about the boy who cried "Wolf!" He did it so many times to get attention that when the wolf did come, no one believed him.
2. Ask your children if anyone had ever lied to them. How did that make them feel?
3. When you make a promise to your children, try to keep it. It may seem small to you, but it means a lot to them.
Helping Out
1. As children grow older, think of added ways they can help at home.
2. Discuss the new duties with them. Avoid making the duties seem like a punishment. Instead, you might say they require more ability which your child now has.
3. New tasks should stretch a child's abilities and make him or her feel satisfied with doing good work. Praise a job well done, especially a new challenge.
Getting to Know Others
1. Set a good example. Act with respect toward others. Always make clear that prejudice is wrong and that all of us are equal, no matter what our color, gender, or background is.
2. Show an interest in learning about and from others--neighbors and relatives, and from books about our own and other civilizations.
3. Encourage your child to learn about many different lands and people, to learn another language, and to read stories about children from all over the world. Show your child how you try to see things from others point of view.
4. Listen carefully when your child wants to tell you things they have discovered about history, geography, religions, art, and ways of life.
Let's work together to build responsibility in our children. Allow your child to take ownership of a problem he/she is involved with. Help brainstorm solutions to problems instead of taking ownership of something that really is their problem. Sometimes we must fail in order to succeed. Teach children to learn from their mistake and allow children to take the consequences for the good and the not-so good. Always remind them that he/she is a good person and a mistake has been made but you are there to provide them with the needed and necessary guidance to resolve their problem. Together Everyone Achieves More!
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Homework By Susan Fleming
Who is responsible for homework?
We all know that our children are responsible for their own homework. Our job is to support their efforts, not to do the work for them. But it's easy to forget that when the hour is late and we're eager to get the child into bed. What we need to remember is that getting the correct answer is only one part of homework assignments. The most valuable part is the process of working out the assignment. When we provide too much help, we rob our children of the satisfaction and learning gained only from struggling to solve problems on their own. If they announce at 9 p.m. that a report is due the next morning, children need to face the consequences of waiting until the last minute, rather than have us jump in to save them.
What kind of support helps children?
Providing a physical environment that conveys the message that we take homework seriously is essential. Children need a place where they can work in comparative quiet in order to concentrate. Turn the TV off and don't allow siblings to interfere.
Make sure lighting is adequate and there is space enough to spread out papers and store books. Essential reference materials such as a dictionary and a thesaurus should be handy. If you can afford hardbound encyclopedias or computer software which includes encyclopedias, they are invaluable.
Discuss with your child an appropriate time for doing homework. Directly after school is usually not a good time because children need a break after the regular school day. Cooperatively work out a schedule and stick to it.
Homework often requires trips to the library, or collecting specific materials from home or neighborhood. Make sure rides are arranged if the library is not within walking distance. Librarians can assist in locating reference materials. But as parents we can also provide helpful guidance as our children struggle to navigate through library resources. Try to use assignments which involve the collection of materials found outside the library as an opportunity to engage your child in conversation about the connections between school and the world beyond it.
What other support does a child need?
Providing emotional support is just as important as arranging a hospitable physical environment. This means that we need to approach our children's homework in a calm, confident manner. Many of us have become so discouraged by our children's past failures to pass in homework on time, or devote adequate time and thought to it, that we begin nagging them, constantly reminding them of what they have previously done wrong. This produces guilt rather than motivation to produce better work. Forget monetary rewards. The best and most motivating reward for school work is the child's inner sense of accomplishment which no external prize can produce.
If a child asks to have an assignment checked, how much correction should be offered?
Before you mention errors, look for something - no matter how seemingly trivial - that is right about the work. Then describe it, rather than passing judgment. For example saying, "You're taken the time to put straight margins on your paper," is more helpful than, "Your margins are good." By being specific you help your child develop a sense of why a paper could be judged good.
Don't try to correct everything. Your child may hand you a paper with multiple errors: poor handwriting, spelling mistakes, grammatical inaccuracies. Try to find out what the purpose of the assignment is and concentrate your attention on whether this has been achieved or not.
Ask your child to read a writing assignment aloud to you before you look at it. In this way she will pick up many errors on her own while you can focus on meaning without being distracted by spelling, punctuation, capitalization, or grammar. Tell your child what you found confusing and let her figure out how to revise to make the piece clearer.
When checking grammar, punctuation, and spelling indicate the line in which the error occurs, letting your child find the precise error. This develops her ability to proofread while gradually weaning her away from depending on others to locate mistakes.
What if I have to interrupt scheduled homework time?
Family crises inevitably happen from time to time. When these occur, explain the situation to the teacher in writing. A follow-up phone call or visit to the classroom are precautions against a misunderstanding.
What if the child doesn't understand the homework assignment?
Rather than guess the teacher's intent, encourage your child to call a classmate to clarify the details of the assignment.
How can a contest of wills be avoided if a child refuses to do homework?
Let the clock be the authority in this situation. Stipulate a reasonable time for the child to work on the assignment, but don't create unnecessary tension for both yourself and your child by saying, "You'll stay here until you finish!" Accountability can be enforced by keeping a chart of days of the week or month. When homework is completed check off the day. It's also wise to consult the classroom teacher, so that you can work out a coordinated strategy for dealing with the problem.
Is there a standard procedure for handling homework?
No. Every teacher has her own method of dealing with homework. However, the school may have standard guidelines for the number of minutes students are expected to devote to it. If the teacher doesn't cover homework expectations during her review of the curriculum on Parents Night, be sure to ask about them.
What if the child is consistently careless in doing homework?
Try to take the long view. Some children have a chronic problem finishing homework, doing it neatly - or doing it at all. This cannot be solved overnight, or even in one school year. After you have provided a suitable environment and a reasonable accountability system which you can review with your child periodically, try not to worry excessively about the problem. Just because a problem can't be solved immediately doesn't mean it will never be solved.
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Tips to help your child with organizationQuick Click: 12 Ways to Develop Your Child's Organizational Skills
Fun activities like cooking and collecting teach planning, sorting, and classifying.
Keep a family calendar. Track everyone's activities on a prominent and accessible calendar, encouraging your child to write her own entries and reference the calendar when making plans. You also might consider checking schedules and updating the calendar as a family over Sunday breakfast.
Introduce checklists. Whether it's as simple as "3 Things To Do Before Bed" or "What To Take On Vacation," creating and referring to lists together will develop your child's ability to strategize tasks and organize his time.
Assign chores that involve sorting or categorizing. Grocery shopping, emptying the dishwasher, sorting photos, cleaning out a closet, and other tasks that involve pre-planning, making lists, or arranging things are great choices.
Get ready the night before. This one's always tough — for both of you — but it does work if you can get in the habit.
Use containers and closet organizers. If there's a place for everything, she'll find it easier to find items, keep neat, and clean up. Build "pick up" time into the daily routine.
Encourage your child to use the school planner. Review daily schedule until it becomes routine. All assignments must be written down for each class. Also write down if there is no homework. Check off the assignment if it has been completed. Keep track of all deadlines using a week before, the day before and the exact due date. Keep a list of friends who can be called or emailed if you are unsure of an assignment. Be sure to routinely coordinate the information with your family calendar to avoid conflicts.
Organize schoolwork. Make sure your child's keeping notes, homework, handouts, and graded assignments in separate folders in a binder. Try to check her backpack nightly and set an time aside each week to go through her binder and get things sorted.
Establish a homework routine. Help your child make a "study hour" schedule and set up a comfortable workspace -- whether her room or the kitchen table. Encourage her to stick to the schedule even when she doesn't have homework (She can read, review notes, or even do a crossword puzzle.)
Create a homework supply box. Fill a box with office supplies and encourage your child to store pens, paper, measurement tools, and a calculator in it so he'll have what he needs on hand.
Cook together. Cooking teaches measuring, following directions, sorting ingredients, and managing time — all key elements in organization. Involve your child in meal planning too, challenging her to help you put together a shopping list.
Cultivate an interest in collecting. If your child has a particular interest, encourage him to create and organize the collection. It can even be something free — such as rocks or cancelled stamps — that he can sort, classify, and arrange.
Reward and provide support with organizational tasks. Your child may find organizing a challenge, so help her develop her routine and give her a treat for jobs well done!
Contact our school social workers or guidance counselor for more support.
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